Bathtime
by Saltypepper
Summary: Ed gets a much needed bath. EdxEdd


**Summary:** Edd has had enough of Ed's bad hygiene and makes him take a bath. EdxEdd

I'm not that good a writer…so…uh…sorry.

**Disclaimer:** Don't own EEnE

Never, in all Edd's years of contemplating his future, had he expected it to turn out this way. Not that this was a bad thing. No, no, just….unexpected. Even when he would consider the possibility that he was gay, Ed had never been on his lists of possible suitors. And that's what made him feel so atrocious. Especially after Ed's heartwarming confession. Ed had not made it on his list and yet he was the only one on Ed's list (had he been the list making type).

Shortly after Ed's confession, Ed and Edd had gotten together. They decided to tell Eddy first…and…well, he was the only one they had to tell. Because the second he heard, he ran out the door, down the street, and proceeded to tell everyone about his best friend's relationship. All the kids seemed strangely delighted. Apparently there had been some sort of betting pool regarding Double D's sexuality. Everyone had bet gay with the exception of Sarah, who now had to pay the rest of the kids fifty dollars each. Where she got the money, no one really wanted to know.

Their relationship went relatively unopposed, what with nearly everyone gaining a profit off of it. Everything was going well for them…mostly. Double D cursed himself for being so shallow, first the lists and now this. But, something he could barely handle during mere friendship, simply could not be tolerated in a more intimate setting.

And so here they are in Edd's parent's bathroom with the intention of overcoming Ed's fear of cleanliness. The room was quite fancy with a large Jacuzzi bathtub in one corner.

"Double D, do I have to?" Ed whined, clutching his boyfriend's arm. He was now seventeen and stood a whopping six foot six.

Double D on the other hand hadn't grown much since Jr. High. He was still just as scrawny and weak as he ever was. Edd sighed "Ed I realize that you're uncomfortable, but your deplorable hygiene is impeding on what could be a very fulfilling relationship."

The lovable oaf ignored the plead and put on his ever popular puppy dog pout. Double D flinched whilst turning away from Ed, that look always broke his heart. But, he couldn't give into this, he had to stand firm and make this happen. With his back to Ed, Double D began again, "Now Ed-" But was interrupted by a loud sniffling whine. Edd shyly peaked over his shoulder only to wince when his gaze crossed with Ed's sad pleading eyes. Ed knew he was winning and his next move would seal his victory. He shuffled closer and scooped up one of Edd's hands within both of his own large trembling hands. He held the hand close to his chest as if begging for mercy.

'_This isn't fair'_ Double D inwardly moaned after suffering through another peak at Ed. _'He isn't playing fair'_. Ed had a special talent for handing out guilt trips. Biting his lip, Double D tried to stay strong but he knew he was breaking. No! Ed was almost an adult now, he needed to do this!

"Ed" Edd choked out. Not the slightest bit surprised by the sadness in his beloved's voice, Ed grinned he had won as usual. Now his love would apologize and then they could get away from that stupid bath and go have some fun playing outside, watching movies, scamming with Eddy, anything, just as long as it didn't involve soap.

His pleasant fantasies were disrupted when Edd withdrew his hand and began sobbing. Oh no, panic, he had never made Double D cry before. Panic! Panic! He was a bad Ed! A very bad Ed!

"I-I just w-wanted t-to h-help." Double D hadn't finished half of his statement before hearing a loud splash. He felt disgusted with himself for enjoying the success of such a juvenile ploy.

"I'm in the bath now Double D! I'm a good Ed! Please stop crying Double D!"

Edd sighed wiping away the forced tears and turned around. Sure enough there was Ed in all his naked glory sitting in the middle of his parents lavish Jacuzzi. Ed had a shamed panicked expression as he bashfully looked at him. "I'm really, really, really sorry Double D."

"It's alright Ed." Edd said gently. "I'm glad that you've decided to comply with my wishes. Shall we proceed? How about we start with your hair?" Edd held up a bottle of expensive shampoo and leaned over the tub to hand it to Ed. Who in turn shriveled to the back of the bathtub.

"It's gonna imbed snake eggs into my skull! Like in 'Medusa's Beauty Shop' from a 'Wild Tales of Underground Life' special edition."

"Ed I assure you there are no snake eggs in my shampoo." The sock hat capped boy replied patiently. Pushing the bottle back into Ed's face.

"Noooooo!"

"I know this is scary for you, Sweetie. But that's why I'm here. It's easier to tackle a fear when there's someone doing it with you." With this said the older of the two stopped shaking and instead began to stare almost blankly. After a few minutes of nearly awkward silence Ed voiced his reply. "Then shouldn't you be in the bath too?"

"Pardon?" Double D asked hoping Ed wasn't getting at what he thought he was getting at.

"If I'm afraid of washing myself with soap-" Ed stated very slowly as if he where explaining it to a small child. "-and you're here to do my fear with me. Shouldn't you be in the bath washing yourself with soap while I'm in the bath washing myself with soap."

Damn it, Ed was having one of his random idiot child philosophical-(like) moments. Edd glanced around the room trying to come up with an excuse that wouldn't make him feel like a hypocrite. He knew he could easily outwit the goofball, but all schemes flew out the window when his eyes returned to the bathtub and saw Ed with that beaming look he got when he knew he got something right. Ed splashed the water playfully and giggled. "Plenty of room, Sweetest love of mine."

"Uh..well…you see…..I…uh." He wanted out bad, it couldn't possibly be sanitary to bathe with Ed. As he quickly weighed the pros and cons of doing as his jolly boyfriend suggested, he disturbingly found that the pros won the battle at three to two. The negatives to this situation were quite simply germs and embarrassment while the positives where significantly more complex. 1) Ed was in a good mood now and would probably be more willing to cooperate. 2) If Ed learned to enjoy bathing, he might do it more often. 3) And lastly Double D found that personally, he had a distinct fear of intimate settings that he should work on getting over. The last reason strangely, was the biggest motivation. How could he expect Ed to overcome his fears if he refused to do the same? With one last look at Ed's expecting face and a sigh he began to undress.

Unfortunately, Double D didn't have a magic boomerang to grant him enchanting stripper powers. So instead of the sensual seductive striptease he secretly wished he could give his boyfriend, he timidly discarded his clothes with a face decorated with crimson. Scrunching his eyes and biting his lip he purposefully avoiding Ed's intent curious green eyes. He felt violated by Ed's shameless stare at his nude form. Edd had pale skin with a slim feminine figure and no body hair whatsoever (he found the feeling of hair on himself revolting, so he got rid of it).

The previously clothed boy began to make his way cautiously to the tub but was interrupted by a seemingly innocent question. "What about your hat?" That stopped him midstride. What about his hat? _What about his hat? _Insecurities forgotten he turned to scold Ed on his obscene notion to remove the treasured item. Coincidently the shampoo sitting on the ledge of the tub stopped him prior rant. For Ed to wash his hair, he was going to have to wash his own hair. He couldn't do that if it was still stuffed in his hat. _Sigh. _Double D disdainfully yanked off the hat to let his long snow white hair fall daintily down his back.

This cloak of silky milk colored hair completed the angelic image to Ed. In his movies this is part where the hero would poetically praised his fair maiden's beauty, but he couldn't for the life of him figure out how to do that. So he did the next best thing and drooled.

Doing his best to ignore the dreamy expression Ed was giving him, Edd slipped into the water silently. The moment his body had been completely submerged in the bath Ed grabbed him. Naturally Double D shrieked (something along the lines of 'good lord'), but that didn't deter Ed from pulling him into a tight hug. "Yay! Together we're going to subdue Medusa and calm the ferocious soap making it purr like a chicken in a salad bar!"

Double D hadn't heard Ed's exclamation, he was much too busy turning different shades of red at the compromising position they were now in. He was sitting with one of Ed's legs in between both his own. It was a typical Ed hug, close and tight. Edd sputtered out some nonsense when he realized what this close vicinity to Ed was doing to him. It didn't help that his groin was being ground against Ed's hip. At this close range it was easy to tell that Ed was aroused as well. It must have happened while Double D striped.

"W-well why d-don't w-we c-continue?" Edd, unable to free himself, reached over Ed's shoulder for the shampoo. "H-here Ed. T-to wash your h-hair." He said offering Ed the bottle once again. Ed responded by whimpering and hugging even tighter.

"Good Lord!" Double D could feel himself getting hard. He struggled to free his other arm and reached them both over Ed's shoulders. With the bottle behind Ed's head, he poured just the right amount into his left hand. After replacing the bottle on the edge, he gently eased his shampoo filled hand into Ed's hair being very careful not to get any near his eyes. Edd shifted in Ed's arms to a kneeling position for easier access to the hair. His thigh was rubbing against Ed's own erection.

With gentle hands massaging his scalp Ed began to relax. His grip loosened as he made soft cooing sounds. Double D couldn't help but smile at Ed's elated sighs. Awkwardness faded as Edd focused on the task at hand.

"Alright Ed, now all you need to do is rinse it."

"You were washing my hair?" Ed asked as Double D managed to reposition himself and pushed the other down to rinse his hair.

"Yeah, now that wasn't too bad was it?" Edd questioned while Ed just stared at him dumbly. Mouth agar as he stared at Double D, then the soap, and then back to Edd. That wasn't bad, wasn't bad at all. The oaf like teen squealed happily and grabbed the shampoo bottle. "Your turn!"

"Oh no Ed, that's quite alright. I can do it myself." Edd defended, he had just gotten away from him, the last thing he needed was another reason for Ed to touch him. Ed merely gave him a look and proceeded with what he was doing. He overdosed his hand with shampoo, yanked Double D back to him, and slapped said hand in his boyfriend's long hair. "Ed's a brave warrior Double D. See I defeated the head soap and now it's safe for you to use."

"Eeeee ow ow ow! Ed that's too rough! It hurts!" The smaller cried out. Ed slowed down his forceful scrubs. "I'm sorry Sweetie. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine Ed, just not so rough okay." Double D reassured his guilt ridden lump.

"That's right I forgot how delicate you are." Ed cheerily went back to washing his love's hair, only softer this time.

"D-d-delicate?" Edd blushed timidly at the word. He never thought Ed would know such a word, much less use it to flatter him with. Okay, that probably wasn't Ed's intention, but it still caused him to face a wall of sugary emotions. His romantic thoughts faced their tragic end as Ed forced him underwater.

"All clean!" Double D heard Ed proudly proclaim as he came up for air choking. "T-thank you Ed. But next time warn me when you're going to do that." Had he been paying attention he would have seen the glint in Ed's eyes after saying 'next time'. He rinsed his hair more efficiently while Ed was distracted by the soapy bubbles.

After a while of silently observing Ed's merriment Edd decided that it was time to continue. He grabbed his loofah and body wash. "Uh.. shall we proceed."

Now Ed may seem sweet and innocent, but in reality he's quite mischievous (courtesy of Eddy). He remembered how his boyfriend had taken over with the hair and was intent on a repeat. Heat traveled between his legs at the thought of receiving a full body rub down from the other naked boy.

"Oh nooo soap!" The bigger ed-boy feigned fear.

"_Sigh, _You seemed so confident just now. This is no different from the shampoo Ed."

"It is sooo no not no different from Medusa's snake eggs!" Double D rolled his eyes and groaned at Ed's retort.

"There were no snake eggs in the shampoo and there is nothing heinous in the body wash either. Here let me prove it to you." With that said Double D applied the body wash to the loofah and began to rub it on his shoulders. Ed's eyes widened, crap backfire, his simple plan had failed. He never anticipated that Double D would act in a different manner then he had hoped. Although he found watching the other polish himself with alluring circular motions to be very mesmerizing. No, he wanted Edd's hands on him. He needed a new plan.

"NO!" Ed rushed towards Double D and snatched the loofah from him. "You can't do that it's dangerous! The fearsome soap must first be tamed before its safe for you to ….uh… be used on...with it…."

He held the loofah at arm's length giving it his most serious face. Out of the corner of his eye he saw his love give him a sweet smile before saying. "Well Ed care to show how you plan on vanquishing the evil forces within my body wash?"

Ed raised one half of his unibrow at Double D before replying. "The same way I did the shampoo."

"Oh! Well go on then!" Edd squealed delighted clasping his hands together. Obviously pleased at what Ed was volunteering to do. The bigger boy began to tremble and his eyes widened in fear.

"But alas I am weak and cowardly like Braden in 'Attack of the Mushy Mutant Marshmellows'." Ed brought his arm over his eyes and sobbed as all hope seemed lost. Guilt once again filled Double D, he hated seeing Ed cry.

"Ed, Sweetie it's alright. You're not a coward, you were so brave with the shampoo." Consoled Edd as he moved closer to place a hand on Ed's shoulder comfortingly. He would have hugged him had they not been so naked. Ed looked at him through his tears with a hopeful look. Suddenly he grabbed Double D's arms and pulled him close to where their faces were inches away. Double D looked around awkwardly, he didn't feel comfortable being this close while nude.

"That's it Double D! Alone I am but a weak little boy, but together I am the manliest of men. Together we can defeat any marsh mellow, butter any toast, and wash any Ed!" The oaf passionately declared while Double D wished they had brushed Ed's teeth before the bath. Before he knew it the loofah had been thrust back to him and Ed had extended his arms. The smart ed-boy stared at him dumbly.

"What are you doing?"

"Just like the shampoo Double D! I'm ready to be cleaned!"

"Y-you want me to w-wash you?"

"Yup!" A lump had formed in Edd's throat. Sure, he had convinced himself before going in to this that he would get Ed clean even if he had to chain him to a board and scrape the grime off of him by force. But saying is one thing and doing is another, and his wise mind told him that his teenaged hormones would not allow such a thing without incident. After a moment of debating with himself, he decided that it would be best to get out now.

"S_igh, _Okay, fine, you win, you don't have to finish the bath." Ed watched in horror as his boyfriend reached for a towel. What was it Eddy was always talking about? Something about opportunity throwing lemons at you? Or life knocking over lemonade stands? Or something about car insurance? Whatever, it didn't matter, he didn't want Double D to get out.

"Wait! Wait! Double D, don't go! I want to do this, really! I just need your help!" He pleaded frantically with a pout.

"You want to be clean?" Edd eyed the other suspiciously, that just didn't sound right.

"Uh-huh! For you! B-but I just can't do it myself! Wah!" With that the big lug began crying again. The smaller boy instinctively moved back to console him.

"Oh it's okay. You really want to clean up for me?" Ed gave him the most endearing nod. "Awe that's so sweet."

So both Double D's wise mind and teenaged hormones lost to the hopeless romantic. The thought that Ed wanted to do something that terrified him so much just for him was just so charming. He didn't hesitate this time in grabbing the loofah and moving towards the grinning lump.

"Give me your arm Turtle Dove." The nerd gushed affectionately. Ed attempted to hold back a victorious giggle but couldn't as Edd meticulously washed his hand and wrist. It was fortunate for Ed that discomfort didn't faze him, because Double D's cleansing was anything but tender. He just gazed lovingly as the other began to obsessively scrubbed his arm raw muttering, "Filthy, filthy, filthy."

Excitement bubbled in Ed as his attendant moved towards his shoulder, the chest would be next. Somehow having his chest touched seemed more appealing than his arm. He almost felt disappointed as his sweetheart skipped over that particular body part to ferociously scrub his other arm. Once that task was completed Ed felt the excitement again. And was once again almost disappointed, as Double D moved away and grabbed a strange concoction that he had developed for this very occasion. The smaller adorned a crazed determined look as he whispered darkly. "Raise your arm."

Ed complied, confused. "Ayeee!" Double D screeched his battle cry as he tackled Ed and mercilessly attacked the odorous grime encrusted skin Ed called armpits. Ed was enjoying every second of it. For his cleaning banshee was far to engrossed with his task to realize just how erotic a position they were in. Double D was gripping him tightly in order to stabilize his scrubbing surface and his body was rocking against Ed's as he scrubbed. The oaf bit his lip and giggled in childish delight.

Several glorious minutes later Ed's underarms practically wheezed at the burst of fresh air they hadn't received in years. By now Edd had long since gone into one of his obsessive compulsive zones and managed to yank his magnifying glass out of thin air to inspect his work. After a few adjustments here and there he moved away and pulled out more specially concocted mixtures for this occasion. Nothing about Double D mixing soapy test tubes in the bath reminded Ed of his comics, no he was to busy being aroused to do anything else. Likewise, Double D was much too busy being insane to notice just how his actions were affecting his humming boyfriend.

Now it's hard to believe that Edd's overly analytical mind could not have noticed Ed subconsciously stroking himself underneath the surface of the water, but he didn't. He simply moved in close, brushed Ed's arms out of the way and began to once again viscously eliminate germs living on his skin. Edd was gripping the loofah with both hands and insanely polished his boyfriend's chest as if it were a car. Again, the oaf wasn't even slightly bothered by the intensity that Double D's pathetically weak arms were attempting to scrub him with. He just wrapped his arms around the neat freak lightly and enjoyed himself.

All was well until Ed noticed that Edd had efficiently washed all of him that was above water, so he decided to be helpful and abruptly stood up. To say that Double D was startled when the rib he had yet to finish cleaning was replaced with a throbbing erection would be a huge understatement. But alas he found it much too fascinating to react to his shock. Edd found himself staring at it, it was just so… right there, and so big.

"That's Frank."

"W-wha?"

"That's Frank." Ed giggled and bent down a little to poke his little friend. "Aw, the little dickens, I think he likes you."

"L-little?" Double D gulped and then promptly twitched. How could Ed call this little, he was once again staring at it, this time with a twinge of jealousy. His own wasn't nearly as impressive, in fact it wasn't even remotely impressive. "Ed, why did you stand up?"

"So you could meet Frank." After a pause he added. "And so the rest of me could get cleaned."

"I see." Double D nodded slowly and began to absent-mindedly scrub Ed's left thigh, still gawking at 'Frank'.

The cleansing of Ed's lower half was commencing agonizingly slow due to Edd's complete lack of concentration. Double D had at long last finished with one leg and began cleaning the other one, when Ed's patience ran out and he began to absentmindedly touch himself.

"Aaahhh!" Edd screamed as he shot back away from the masturbator. "Ed! What in sam hill are you doing!"

Ed looked at him happily. "Taking a bath silly, you're doing it to."

"No, Ed that's…that's not what I mean. I mean what are you doing with you're hand?" Ed stared dumbly at his vacant hand. Double D pinched the bridge of his nose. "The other hand." At this Ed flipped his had over to stare, confused at the other side. "Frank!" Ed finally looked down to see what he was doing. "Frank was lonely Double D."

"Am I clean yet Double D?" Since the other stayed away from him with saucer eyes, he took that as a yes. Ed grinned ear to ear and splashed his way to his convulsing boyfriend. "Your turn!"

Edd squealed girlishly as Ed snatched the loofah and once again pulled him in close. He easily plopped Double D onto his lap and began to merrily scrub his boyfriend. Much to Double D's surprise Ed was quite gentle. He started at the neck and moved downward caressing him through the loofah. "See Double D I remembered to be gentle with you" Ed said pleasantly while lovingly nuzzling the top of his boyfriend's head. The smaller just sat there passively trying to think of anything other than the throbbing 'Frank' he happened to be sitting on.

They stayed like that until Ed thought he had done a good job washing Edd's top half. "Ali-up" Ed stated as he abruptly thrusts Double D into a standing position. Wide eyed and mortified, Double D watched as the tables were turned. Now it was his erection in Ed's face. And Ed acted just as he did and stared directly at it. Edd was limp, helpless, defeated and Ed was still staring at it. "What's your friend's name Double D?"

"...What?"

"What's your friend's name?"

"...Doesn't have one" Edd whimpered, dreaming that he were in a better place, like gym class.

"Petunia."

"Pardon?"

"I'm naming her Petunia."

"..." Double D stared disbelievingly down at his sweetheart... Did Ed really just give his manhood a girl's name? "Well this was a nice bath Ed. I think we are sufficiently clean time to get out."

Edd slowly moved away, no amount of teasing at school had prepared him for this mortification.

* * *

"Well, how'd it go?" Eddy questioned as his two co-eds entered his bedroom.

"Productive, yet horrible." Double D mumbled.

"How do I smell Eddy!" Ed asked excitedly.

"Like a basket of roses Lumpy." The con artist smirked. It was clear from Double D's lack of chattering that it had been eventful. Which was a good thing in his book because he really didn't want to hear about it. So he got a game out and handed each of them a controller.

After about half an hour of playing, Ed leaned over to Edd and whispered. "Maybe someday Frank and Petunia could play some fun games together."


End file.
